it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
