member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
