I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
