Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
