she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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