I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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