Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
