and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
