There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
