so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
