You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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