I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
