WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
