True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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