ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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