so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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