So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
