Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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