rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
