if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
