Christians are straight up FREAKS
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
