You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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