he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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