Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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