Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
