either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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