Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
