tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize