I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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