if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
