Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...