he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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