apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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