dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
