There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
