You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
