If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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