Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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