So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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