Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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