Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
