Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
