is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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