It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He felt like a one man threesome
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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