ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The adults are the big ones right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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