I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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