Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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