her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
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he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow