Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

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  (305): absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me. http://tfl.nu/yste
  Replies (8) Good night (931) Bad night (3888)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating

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  (704): i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating http://tfl.nu/bh4g
  Replies (22) Good night (3579) Bad night (1397)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?

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  (662): I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week? http://tfl.nu/iksy
  Replies (12) Good night (4017) Bad night (953)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.

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  (425): I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me. http://tfl.nu/cm8t
  Replies (19) Good night (3873) Bad night (1064)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard

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  (630): Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard http://tfl.nu/pb8h
  Replies (7) Good night (2959) Bad night (1037)
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  (716): View more from New York

  her body is proportioned like a family guy character

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  (716): her body is proportioned like a family guy character http://tfl.nu/ptef
  Replies (15) Good night (1588) Bad night (4285)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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  (231): You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches http://tfl.nu/iwei
  Replies (4) Good night (1659) Bad night (1293)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.

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  (803): She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/t2n2
  Replies (12) Good night (712) Bad night (1446)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

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  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (601) Bad night (2191)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And we're breaking up

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  (918): Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash. (918): And we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/t8m0
  Replies (9) Good night (597) Bad night (2118)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.

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  (912): He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it. http://tfl.nu/1cfw
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (483)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.

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  (856): You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two. http://tfl.nu/8qvh
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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  (603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq
  Replies (5) Good night (405) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down

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  (910): Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down http://tfl.nu/ca0t
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

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  (814): I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had. http://tfl.nu/5qob
  Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (1062)

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