I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
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It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/