Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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  (678): well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list http://tfl.nu/inae
  Replies (4) Good night (2825) Bad night (802)
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  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3640) Bad night (738)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

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  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (1100) Bad night (10936)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense

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  (703): I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense http://tfl.nu/aaqg
  Replies (20) Good night (8095) Bad night (985)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.

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  (210): Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material. http://tfl.nu/16u9
  Replies (66) Good night (5660) Bad night (2772)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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  (770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv
  Replies (27) Good night (7180) Bad night (1381)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4674) Bad night (1205)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4617) Bad night (859)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.

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  (706): they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/tfa8
  Replies (6) Good night (1077) Bad night (719)
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  (650): View more from California

  My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

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  (650): My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings. http://tfl.nu/futo
  Replies (14) Good night (2257) Bad night (853)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him

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  (813): You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him http://tfl.nu/hong
  Replies (5) Good night (1625) Bad night (596)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.

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  (646): Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter. http://tfl.nu/74l7
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (296)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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  (973): Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us http://tfl.nu/2son
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (243)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart

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  (316): Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart http://tfl.nu/0j6w
  Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (303)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language

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  (508): Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language http://tfl.nu/6y9g
  Replies (5) Good night (749) Bad night (340)

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