I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.