In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.