well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS