rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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