my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
