Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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