I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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