I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
